teacher: boys, i have a riddle to ask you. there's something wearing
beautiful feather, and it can wake you up every morning. what is it,
tom?
tom: a feather duster, with which father wakes me up every morning.
when do people talk least
a: when do people talk least?
b: in february.
a: why?
b: because february is the shortest month of a year. correct
teacher: jane, what are the three words which pupils use most often
at school?
jane: i don't know.
teacher: correct. he knows the answer
teacher: can you tell me anything about the great scientist of the
18th century?
pupil: yes, sir, i can. they are all dead. an essential correction
teacher: walter, why don't you wash your face? i can see what you
had for breakfast this morning.
walter: what was it?
teacher: eggs.
walter: wrong, sir. that was yesterday. an absolute zero
student: i don't think i deserve an absolute zero.
professor: neither do i, but it is the lowest mark that i am allowed
to give.
i hate school
jenny: is crying and says to teacher) i hate school, and i have to
stay here
until i'm sixteen.
teacher: i know how you feel -- and i have to stay here until i'm
sixty-five.
i hope your bread gets better
i was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise,
put the bowl in a heating pad, then i left the house on an errand,
when i came back, i found this note from my son:" dear mum, i
hope your bread gets better."
to scare them
a mother bought her son a $100 halloween costume to scare his friends.
"should i take the price tag off?" the boy asked.
"leave it on." his mother replied. "we'll scare your
father too."
over crowed moon
a geography teacher once told her class, "the moon is so large
that several million people could live there."
one boy started laughing. "it sure must get crowded when it's
a crescent moon."
